Sunday, April 24, 2011

My Attempt at a Star Wars fanfic

"Watch it! " Luke spat , as a photon laser burned a hole int he spot he had just been sitting, the tree trunk cleanly shot through. The Ewok that fired the shot chuckled at him, button eyes dancing crazily in his face as it took another swig out of the hastily- brewed ceremonial havak juice.
Scowling, Luke surveyed the scene of the party. Comatose ewok "warriors", clutching their rock sticks as they rolled around the forest floor. The two droids, gleefully sharing data packages. R2D2 beeping and flashing merrily as C3P0 recited a monologue from an ancient text in Gungan.
The once proud Empire base, lying in ruins, covered in defecation from these.. animals.
Luke found it hard to believe that this was what he had fought for, what he had killed his own.. no, not time to think about that yet. Not just now. Gruffly, he grabbed the bottle out of the furry overgrown rat in front of him and took a long, scorching swig. The fire tore through him, blasting out the lethargy and fizzing as it fused with his electronic hand. He snarled at the ewok reaching up to get back its bottle, draining it and turning on the Ewok brandishing his lightsaber.
"Get back! Get back you animal! Before I show you a real warrior! "
The creature meowed pitifully, scampering away to a group of others , who stared at him from across the fire .
An uneasy silence settled in over the area, barring the two robots who continued to flash away. Leia came over to him, smiling as she exclaimed "Luke, whats wrong, we've won!"
Her eyes sparkled as she searched her brothers face, but she knew something had changed in him, his face still handsome but lacking the warmth she was used to seeing.
Luke stared down at his sister A feeling of revulsion churned within in him, mixed with the feeling of love that could never be expressed. " Don't touch me ! " He snarled, surprising himself with the force of his words, but carrying on : " Just go be with him!". His robot fingers unflexed and pointed at Han, who leaned against a tree , slight smirk playing on his face.
"Look at us, look at all of us, celebrating. Our father's dead! All the leaders are dead! We've plunged ourselves into chaos, and for what?! So these, these, parasites can nearly shoot me! " His voice broke as he saw tears welling up in his sister's eyes. "Luke.." She began, but he roughly pulled away from her and plunged into the forest, letting the force guide him wherever it led. If it was off a cliff, good .
Tree trunks flashed past, shadowy forms entering his vision, tormenting him as he ran, ran, ran to get away.
A blankness overcame him, and he stopped, opening his eyes to see where he had been led . A torrent of water flew past him, splashing his feet and ace with it's power.
Without fear, head suddenly calm, lacking the furious explosions of mere minutes ago, he stepped out into the water, feeling himself inside it's lack of cohesion, its blindness to it's own form. He relaxed into the flow, his body giving way to contemplation.
But even within his peaceful rest, two faces swum before him. his father's gasping out his last words, his energy dissolving into metaphors. And Leia. It was wrong, these feelings But ever since that kiss.. Luke had never been able to rid himself of them. She was so perfect, such a delicate construct, the missing piece in his jigsaw.
But she could never be his. To her, he had just been a pawn in her struggle with Han. She would never know the feelings she had unlocked in him. Could never know.
Suddenly, Luke's Reverie was interrupted as he was yanked out of the water, two furry hands clasping his head as he dangled above the stream. He stared with fury into the eyes of chewbacca, opening his mouth to yell at the beast. But something stopped him, something deep within the beast - A look he had seen only once before - the look of forbidden love.

45 comments:

  1. Cool read. I'd like to read more of you writing. I'm a big starwars fan 2.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well it's certainly not the worst fanfic I've ever read :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pretty good for an attempt, I especially like how you thoroughly described the emotional turmoil Luke had to go through.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Star Wars is hard to fanfic, considering the strength of the series' story. Good go, though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. fanfiction, ive been on that site, not alot i like on there, this was better!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awesome descriptions! I love fanfiction! Especially Star Wars. There is so many directions you can go.

    ReplyDelete
  7. not bad at all wondering where it will go +follower

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like your post, i love this show. following.

    ReplyDelete
  9. its quite good, but ive never been that much of a starwars fan haha

    ReplyDelete
  10. Haven't seen a fanfic for awhile, nice work

    ReplyDelete
  11. You should make a longer story dude! :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Fanfic? Holy cow, been a long time. I agree with one of the commenters, Star-Wars is hard to fanfic, but you did a great job with this one. Looking forward to more :)

    http://www.bananaconda.net/

    ReplyDelete
  13. I actually never seen star wars. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nice writing mate, I like your style.

    ReplyDelete
  15. First starwars fan fic I've ever read; and I've gotta ask why?! Star wars was already awesome enough.

    ReplyDelete
  16. @niek.
    how can you have not seen star wars? lol

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm a big star wars fan and for a first attempt this was pretty decent. With a bit more time and practise doing it you could become quite a good writer.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's a good read, but like some of my fellow commentors, not a huge fan myself.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Keep writing fan fic! Some people just don't understand. =/

    ReplyDelete
  20. Not a star wars fan, but I like how you managed the atmosphere

    ReplyDelete
  21. Star Wars has been one of my favorite movies of all times :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love star wars, but i never like any fanfic. Sorry. Some of the novels i have read have been good. But the games and films are where star wars really shines through.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I could never get into star wars.. or fanfic for that matter :P

    ReplyDelete
  24. It was decently written. better than the ones you find in message boards made for stuff like this. Plus star wars interests me so the subject matter was good.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Nice, star wars is is pretty awesome imo

    ReplyDelete
  26. Can't be any worse than the prequels!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Glad to see a star wars fan, love star wars.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I hate star wars too much incest XD

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anything involving Star Wars is automatically badass.

    ReplyDelete
  30. well, that's disturbing! Good writing though

    ReplyDelete
  31. Props. Couldn't write fanfic if i wanted too.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Well, it's still better than Episode 1.

    ReplyDelete
  33. realy i donl like this movie but, this seams nice

    ReplyDelete